Friday, January 30, 2009

Jedi Noodles

Naptime disappeared around here many many months ago. Inevitably, however, someone tops out my whine meter and is sent stomping to his room in tears for a sleep adjustment. As luck would have it, this is the story today. And I must say, my stress level has decreased exponentially since Mr. Grumpy Pants (aka Grant) slipped off into dreamland. Ever notice how angelic children become when they're asleep? I think it has something to do with ones inability to mouth off when in a comatose state.

Anyway, we had to forgo lunch with my mom today so Mr. Grumpy Pants could sleep off all that whine he apparently drank this morning, which left me rummaging through our pantry in search of something, anything, other than a sandwich to eat. Much to my surprise, I discovered a long forgotten package of Ramen Noodles hiding under what might have once been a package of cinnamon-raisin bagels. Jackpot! Yes, I was one of those weirdo college kids who bought Ramen Noodles because I liked them and not just because they allowed you to feed yourself for a whole month on whatever coinage you could dig out from between the couch cushions. And you gotta admit, it's pretty cool to watch that block of noodle boil itself into one loooooong noodle (that's what it looks like anyway). So then my brain clicks on, "How do you EAT these things? Fork? Spoon? Chopsticks like the Chinese? Except I don't think these are actually Chinese at all....the package says they're made in Hoboken. Oh well. Fork AND spoon then." And while I'm reading how they're Made in the U.S.A., I happen to glance over the Nutrition Facts. 780 mg of sodium PER SERVING AND THERE'S 2 FREAKIN' SERVINGS IN THE PACKAGE! So like the good healthy girl I am, I promptly poured the whole bowl down the drain and ate a salad instead. Actually that's a total lie. I ate the entire bowl and then drank 14 glasses of water. But I don't think I'll boil up any more Ramen I find lurking in the pantry.

On a completely unrelated note, a war between the Jedi and Sith has been raging in our house since Jaden was old enough to hold his lightsaber. In a particularly fierce battle yesterday evening, Jedi Master Grumpy Pants suffered a terrible setback when he broke his lightsaber while dueling with the evil Sith lord Darth Daddy. And while this mommy is sitting on the couch horrified they were saber-fighting hard enough to actually break the stupid toy, all 3 boys are cheering and dancing around the living room, er, battle field, at this manly accomplishment. Lord save me.

And in case you were wondering how Master Jedi Grumpy Pants managed to become such a fearsome warrior, here's a shot of his training regimen...getting buff with Wii Fit.


Sunday, January 25, 2009

Recompense

I'm pretty sure that all the parents of the US could and probably should bring a class action law suit against the Energizer Corporation.  Every time that pink bunny rolls across the screen, Energizer should be paying royalties to the deserving and thoroughly exhausted parents of America.  They clearly designed their little advertising moneymaker after OUR offspring. Jaden gets up this morning running a piping hot 102.5 degrees and the first 2 sentences out of his mouth are, "I'm dizzy.  Can I play the Wii?"  Of course I turn into the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Mommy when my babies are sick so I said yes.  So I get him all set up and retreat to fix Grant some breakfast.  When I make it back to check on Jaden, he's stretched prone on the couch,  eyes bloodshot and watering so badly he looks like he's crying, sneezing almost continuously, and there's a steady drift of steam rising from his fevered little head.  But that doesn't slow him down in his never-ending quest to kick bad-guy butt on LEGO Batman.  

BOOM!  POW!  CRASH!

And in the saddest little voice he croaks, "Mom.  I got **sneeze** Mr. Freeze.  **Sniffle snurffle cough**  Now I'm gonna go get **hack wheeze** the Riddler.  Watch me throw my Batarang."

Shoulda just gotten him a pink bunny suit and a new drum for Christmas instead of the gumball machine.  And I shoulda received a big fat check from Energizer.  I think I'm going to write a letter.

BompBompBompBomp

Monday, January 12, 2009

Skullcandy Angie Rambly

I am SO very pleased to be able to inform the world that I am now super juiced up thanks to the new Skullcandy purchase at Target this windy afternoon. No, I'm not referring to an illegal substance. I am talking about a brand spankin' new pair of watermelon Bubbalicious pink ear buds. Yes!! I am so excited! And yes, I know that's seriously dorky. But just so you understand, sometime last summer, my earphones mysteriously disappeared. The person who happened to be the last to know my earphone's whereabouts shall remain anonymous. So, lets just call him, oh, I dunno, "Matteo" perhaps. Matteo denies the accusation of misplacing them and even denies having borrowed them to mow the grass on that fateful day (but I think that's more just because he thinks its funny when I get angry). So now I can dust off the ol' iPod and jam once more. And the best part of all this is the man-proof color! Ha ha!

Now, we've established that Matteo might be a little bit of a turkey. But can you guess which of the very cute boys below is a whole lot of turkey?

Oh yes. It's the short one. As I was getting dressed yesterday morning I hear this in the next room...

Matt: No, Grant. Not right now.

Matt: Grant! Come back here right now!

Grant: Blah blah blah! Not listening! Blah blah blaaaaahhhhh! Noooo! Not the paddle!!


Hoo boy. It's going to be an interesting 18 years.




Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Misgivings Resolved, Chaos Ensues

The holiday season with the Pottsies. Insanity. Each year we manage to squeeze in 5 Christmases, 2 birthdays, 2-3 work related Christmas parties, our anniversary, the annual UFC holiday fight with our buds, and a New Year's gig at the Prices all in the span of 8 days (and this year a family picture involving 14 people....talk about an endeavour. My mother-in-law is popping another aspirin as she reads this just for having to remember!). I wouldn't change a minute of it either. I love Christmas!! I love getting to visit with our families and friends. This year we got a special treat...Matt's globe trotting little brother, Justin, (he's a performer for Cirque du Soleil) made it home for Christmas AND his big brother Brad and family made it to town (hence the family picture!).



Here's Exhibit #1 in The Case of the Naughty List


As for the boys, they were in hog heaven...presents and stockings and candy at every stop. Does it get any better than that? By the last of the Christmases, Jaden was more than assured that some kindly elf erased him and Grant from the naughty list. In fact, "spoiled rotten" is the only reasonable way to describe the Potts household this year (no...I'm not referring to the forgotten Thanksgiving leftovers in my fridge thank you very much). Between Grant's birthday and Christmas, we managed to make it home with no less than TEN games for the Wii. Yes. I said ten. Of course, I'm sure that any good mother would have promptly raced back to the store with eight Wii games in hand to return. I am so not a good mother. In fact, when we made it home, I helped the boys rip open every last one and we spent the next 10 days playing games! They are so much fun!! I even love one of Grant's pre-schooler games he got from Grandma and Grandpa..."Diego's Dinosaur Rescue" or somesuch. It's great! You have to jump to make Diego jump, push with your arms to make him knock stuff down, and bend and stand to make him lift rocks. Genius!


And so now here's the part where I have to admit that two of those ten games were actually gifts to yours truly. The Legend of Zelda, a long time fave of mine, has been keeping me up way past my bedtime for days now. And the Wii Fit package is crazy! You use the balance board to do all kinds of exercises and the program weighs you, calculates your BMI, and charts your workout time and progress. I thought this was all a fantastic idea until I tried it the first time. The stupid program told me I was unbalanced and that yoga wasn't my forte! Jeez. And it gets worse. The boys think it's great fun to watch me be unbalanced and looking generally ridiculous. So yesterday I was trying a new yoga pose that involved bending straight forward and touching my toes, which, to my dismay, I can no longer accomplish. So while I'm stretching with all my will (and cursing under my breath), Grant, being the super helpful little turkey he is, scooted up beside me and laid his hands on my toes and said, "Don't worry Mommy. I'll just touch them for you since you can't reach!" Do you laugh or cry? Both in my case.


Clone trooper Matt...protecting our galaxy from all things Sith.


Jaden and his beloved new toy, aptly named Killer. I find it humorous that Jaden wraps Killer up in blankets on cold days, carries him around like a baby, and puts him to bed each night with a teddy bear.