Jaden: ...and at Carter's party the other night we all drank a WHOLE lot of water bottles so we could see if watching scary movies would really make us pee our pants!!
Me: Grant, take those two candies to the kitchen and eat them there...NOT in the basement!
Grant: Ok Mom!
THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP (footsteps on the basement stairs)
Me: Grant! Bring them back up here NOW!
Grant: What?!...how did you even KNOW?!!
Grant (screaming from the shower): MOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!
Me (flying like a crazy-woman through the house to save the dying child): OMG! WHAT'S WRONG?!
Grant: Is a Daddy Long-Legs an insect or arachnid?
From some random conversation:
Jaden: Yeah Mom....zombies are like girls.
Me: How's that?
Jaden: Well, they travel in packs.
Me: Go back and wash your hands with soap!
Grant: I did! But I couldn't find any soap so I used my toothpaste instead.
On the way home from school the other day...
Jaden: Oh! I want THAT house over there!
Grant: Why? It's ugly.
Jaden: Because the yard is full of goats.
Me: What are you going to do with a bunch of goats?
Jaden: Wrestle them!
Matt brings home paper for the printer last night...
Grant: Mom LOOK! Dad brought home a whole LOAF of paper!!
(after posing for a picture while wearing my cute strappy shoes w/ the 3 inch wedge heels)
Mom, I know this is kinda weird, but I'm having this strange compulsion for you to post that on Facebook now.
Jaden: Hey Mom....I think my toothpaste makes me toot.
Me: Jaden! Get back in the shower and use SOAP this time!
Jaden: WHAT? How do you KNOW these things??!
Me: *evil mommy laugh*
Playing Sonic Sega Racers with Grant....
Matt: I'm so gonna beat you, you're toast!
Grant: Whatever, I like toast.
Jaden: Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish. How many pieces do you wish?
Grant: Mom, I wish I had a gold tooth. I'm going to ask Santa for one.
Jaden: Hey Grandma! We went to El Chico the other day and I had to go to the potty to, you know. So when I sat down and closed the door I saw this writing. I had to turn my head a little to read it and it said, "You are now pooping at a 40 degree angle" !!
Grandma: (laughing so hard she's falling out of the chair)
J: Grant, I hope you didn't steal those, 'cause if you did you could get thrown in judy.
G: What's judy?
J: Jail for kids!
As I'm walking out after tucking our insomniac into bed for the 3rd time...
Jaden: Mom, can I have another hug?
Me: Do you promise you'll stay in your bed and not get up again for any reason?
Jaden: Yes...I promise. But what if I'm bleeding profusely?
Me: Ow! This sunburn really hurts!
Jaden: Mom, I'm beginning to really wish you had used sunblock.
Me (hearing his irritation): Yeah, I guess I'll stop complaining now and just remember the sunblock next time.