Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Crazy Train

It's no wonder the world thinks Americans are certifiably crazy. It's because we are. Don't believe me? The next time you're out and about, stop for 7 or 8 minutes and just watch the people around you. This is a good time of year for this exercise too because there's just something about the holiday season that ups our crazy factor by about 1000.

Crazy Example #1 ... "It's not MY job!"

I was at Old Navy today along with approximately 42% of the city. No, I was not getting a jump on my Christmas shopping. I do not have my act quite that together. I only have (had) 2 long sleeved shirts in my wardrobe and when you wore them both on Monday and Tuesday respectively, it makes Wednesday quite chilly. Anyway, after procuring 2 t-shirts and 2 hoodies I found myself at the ONE open register in the store. Did I mention I was at the end of the line which happened to be 37 people deep? Did I also mention that there was a manager chatting with person #32 in the line who appeared to be a long lost friend? The manager finally wraps up her conversation with, "Well, I guess I better go find someone to work another register." Um, wow.

Crazy Example #2 ... "Good will towards men my foot!"

The Mall parking lot from mid-Nov through Dec 27th. Enough said.

Crazy Example #3 ... "HURRY!"

Ever been in the car taking your kids to Grandma's and you tell them you're going to slow down to about 30 when you get there and that they should jump out as you drive by. Tuck and roll when you land, boys! No? Uh, right. Me either. Anyway, when we pulled into the driveway this afternoon a UPS truck came barreling down the street and did exactly what I just described to you. No lie! The driver swerved over towards the curb and sort of slowed down while the partner leapt from the top stair of the truck and sprinted, yes, sprinted my neighbor's package to the door. The delivery guy must've thrown it at the front door because no more than a half second went by and he was sprinting back to the truck which, by the way, was still in motion. He leapt over the stairs once again and into the truck, the driver gunned the engine and they sped off into the sunset. Now, I know it must sound like I've embellished this story somewhat (Okay, I admit, there was no sunset. It was only 2:30 in the afternoon) but scout's honor, that's really how it happened.

Crazy Example #4 ... "Photoshop"

Who thought this thing up anyway? How am I ever going to learn it all?? I really need to take a class because between you and me, Photoshop for Dummies just isn't cutting it. Here's a good before and after that shows you just exactly WHY I need this program.

Pretty big difference, huh? Now could someone explain to me just what I did so I can do it again tomorrow? Crazy.