Thursday, December 30, 2010

Snowboarding = Ouch

I just love ridiculously useless gifts.

Who wouldn't love a straw like this??!!  Santa is so cool.

As usual, I am awed by how quickly this year has come and gone.  Did Christmas really just happen?  Such a blur.  Literally...look at this pic.  Guess our camera was sleepy too this Xmas morn...

The festivities began at 3:30 am.  No, this pic was not taken at 3:30.  We made them go back to bed (and by 'we' I mean Matt after I kicked him to let him know his precious offspring we up at 3:30).

We spent the afternoon with my parents where Santa was good to everybody again and then ate a lunch that was to die for.  I should've taken a pic of the food.  It would've made you drool.

The next day we ventured to Ruidoso for a Christmas snowboarding vacation with Matt's family.  And, as it turns out, you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.  It just takes 5x as long.  We arrived before noon, jumped in our snow bunny suits, and headed up the mountain.  My "somewhat more agile than me" 8 year old promptly eyed his snowboard appraisingly, strapped it on, and started zipping down the slope.  On his feet.  Twerp.

I, however, spent the better part of the first 2 days flat on my ***Bleeeeeeep.  Edited for content***.  The instructor made it look SO effortless but holy gee-whiz those suckers are slippery!

Here you'll notice the instructor in his green vest, little sister and niece on the lower left, and yours truly as indicated by the red arrow.  Stupid snowboard.

Grandma, Papa, and Grant hanging out while we all took a snowboarding lesson...

The top of the mountain...

Here are a few of us as we headed up the mountain on Day 2.  It looks like I've got my arms wrapped around my family in a loving embrace.  It's probably closer to the truth to say I was using the girls for support because I could hardly stand from all the falls on Day 1.

Day 2 did NOT start out with a bang.  After determining that the bunny slope was an evil ***Bleeeeeeep.  Edited for content***  I moved over to the beginner slope on the recommendation of the little sister (who consequently picked up the snowboarding thing in about 3 seconds also.  Twerp.).  I came off the lift successfully and then proceeded to fall half way down the slope at which point I ripped off the stupid board, crawled over to a nearby tree, and cried for 15 minutes.  I seriously considered hiking the rest of the way down and trading in my board for skis.  I already KNEW how to ski, why in tarnation was I torturing myself like this??!!  

In the end, I decided I probably wouldn't be setting a very good example for the youngling by giving up on only the 2nd day.  So, I strapped the sucker back on, stood up, and lo and behold I snowboarded the rest of the way down the slope!  Halleluja!  For the record, this was exactly how I learned to ski.  It turns out the bunny slope is entirely too's a wonder anyone learns anything over there.  The beginner run has just enough slope to give you some momentum, which in my case was the key.  I guess it's just like learning to ride a bike.  You're not going to learn to balance by just sitting there.  You need to be going to figure it out.

The rest of Day 2 and Day 3 were total insane fun.  I may never ski again.  And I know Jaden is hooked too.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Schweddy Balls

I dare you to try and keep a straight face.  Go on, try.

 If you have no idea what I'm talking about, do yourself a grand favor and Google it.  It's a cultural piece of television history to which everyone should be exposed before they die.

My day began this morning with a phenomenal plan to make Bakerella's Reindeer cake pops (I can't post her picture so check them out at to give as gifts to the math department.  This is why...

That's me and the math department prancing through the halls during passing period pulling Santa in his sleigh and singing Jingle Bells.  Did you know that it is very difficult to prance around the entire school while singing?  I sucked it up though and made it the whole way....danged if I was going to be the wimpy reindeer that had to stop and catch her breath.  Turns out I may be a *wee* bit out of shape.

So, to answer your questions, 1) I'm wearing the bow and arrows because I was Cupid.  You'll notice Vixen in her red feather boa too.  2)  Yes, Cupid is a reindeer.  Sing the song people.   3)  Yes, we really are professional educators with post-graduate degrees.  4) No, we were not drinking.

But you can understand now why Reindeer Cake Pops would be SO perfect!  Fast forward to Michael's where I'm trying to contain two bored-out-of-their-mind little boys while trying to obtain the 234 items necessary to construct said cake pops.  Long story short, after narrowly averting a spray icing war (yep, there is such a thing as icing in spray cans) I came to the conclusion that Reindeer Cake Pops were waaaay over-rated and plain ol' cake balls would be just as fabulous.  I drug the rascal icing warriors out of the store (turns out they go quite willingly in any direction you want when you've got a tight grip on a handful of their shaggy hair) and we headed home to bake.

Mmmm....Red Velvet

Now, this is where my convoluted brain digs up the Schweddy Balls segment and I almost can't finish rolling the stupid things out due to a ridiculous fit of the giggles.

Maybe I'll get overly ambitious tomorrow and dress them up as reindeer anyway.  Then I'll package them up all sweet and cute with a note that says, "Enjoy your reindeer balls!"

Well, at least the math department would think it was funny.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

Junior Mints smashed into the basement carpet. A birthday party invitation turned paper airplane now lost in the Bermuda Triangle that is my house. A pack of Big Red gum smeared all over the inside of the washing machine because someone forgot to take it out of their hunting pants pocket. A note written to Papa Pat. On a shirt. In marker.

The joys of motherhood, right? Bah.

So, that was the beginning of a post I started some weeks back, Thanksgivingish. Guess it was a rough day since that was as far as I got. As it turns out, I was coming down with some ridiculously obnoxious bug that knocked me flat and stole my voice (in case you were wondering, it is quite tiresome teaching Algebra using only hand gestures). But now I feel much better (thank you Dr. Dave and your wonder drugs) so I am going to attempt to play catch up before I wake up one day to find a ten YEAR gap between posts rather than a 10 week gap.

Halloween was a blur. Jaden has discovered the world of Harry Potter and is devouring the books (he's currently in the middle of The Goblet of Fire. My baby is reading a 700+ page novel....whaaaaat?). This of course means Grant also thinks HP is the coolest thing around, and so I give you, Harry and Professor Lupin...

Um, yes, I am aware that Harry is wearing a Star Wars tee. And yes, I am aware how incredibly geeky we are. And in case you can't tell from the picture, Harry has subdued Lupin by sticking his wand up his nose. It's as good as a silver bullet I'm told.

Thanksgiving was lovely, I'm sure. I don't really know since I spent most of it in bed sick. boo. But in spite of it all, the family came in to visit and eat, the boys played endless football, and I managed to consume an entire pecan pie, so I guess we can call it a success.

I love that Grant is "teaching" his great-grandparents all about the latest technology...

Now it is Christmas and my head is spinning from the craziness of the season. Or maybe it's from all the holiday sugar that has started to sneak into my house. Either way, I find myself simultaneously enchanted and exhausted. Whee!

Christmas always gives me a primo reason to have the kids' pictures taken. I love love love photo Christmas cards. I love to send them, I love to get them, I love to look at everybody else's when we're at their house. But alas, I simply did not have time to accomplish my beloved photo card this year. Sigh. I was able to bribe a few cute pics out of the boys though. It's amazing what a ginormous lollipop will get you...