Adventures in Spring

I really despise standardized testing. It brings out the worst in me and that's just not good for anyone within a 10 ft. radius. Here's a snapshot of life in my classroom today...

-- "I know TAKS review is not fun and that you don't like it because you've told me so 14 times since you walked through the door. Now ZIP it up and put your BUTT in a plastic chair!"

-- "Turn to page 23. No....I said 23. 23!!!!! Would you like me to say it in another language?!"

-- "Sure, I can help you. What is the first step? That's right, you add 2 + 3. DID YOU JUST USE YOUR CALCULATOR TO ADD 2 + 3??"

-- Bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk (banging my head against the whiteboard)

Truly, my students are really bright and I promise they ARE capable of adding 2 + 3 without the aid of technology or even phalanges. There's just something about TAKS that seems to scramble brains and put everyone in a sour mood. That being said, let me tell you that I've never, in all my years, shown a movie in class (there's just too much algebra in the world to waste a precious minute doing nothing in class **geek alert**). I said this to one of my classes today, in response to their desperate pleas to just watch a movie instead of reviewing, and they all simultaneously *gasped*. Apparently this is cruel and unusual. But little do they know that this year I think am planning to break this tradition....after we all survive TAKS week that is. A few months back I wrote a similar figures problem about the Millennium Falcon.....that only 3 out of 100 students could work.....because they didn't know what a Millennium Falcon was!!

photo courtesy of Wookiepedia

Really people? How is it okay for today's youth to know every last detail about Snooki, yet have no earthly idea who Luke Skywalker is? Yeesh. So, after test week, when their brains are smooshy and they've lost their will to fight, I will pop in Episode IV and bless them all with the movie they've been begging for. And then I will make them write a 10 page paper outlining the plot and defending the required thesis statement "Star Wars is totally awesome and Jersey Shore is a pile of poo."

Yep, that's me....a dedicated teacher in hot pursuit of the "Educator of the Year" award.


In other news, I had to help the 8-year old set up his own You Tube channel today. Um, what?! After we got it all set up and watched his first posted video he says, "Sweet! I'm gonna be famous! Let's log back on tomorrow and see how many hits I've gotten!" HOW does he even know about this stuff? I estimate that in the next year he will officially know more about technology than his Mama. Amazing.

But honestly, it's so fun to watch these boys grow and change and come into their own personalities. Jaden is currently enamored with all things skate related, Harry Potter, and aliens. Okay, technically he was enamored with aliens a few months ago, but as I'm running a little behind in Blogland, humor me. On our last couple of trips to snowboard in Ruidoso, he begged to stop in Roswell at the alien museum, but there was never time. So for Spring Break, we loaded up one morning and drove to NM. Whee!

The museum was mostly comprised of newspaper clippings of the Roswell incident some years back, various cartoons/comic strips about aliens, and a lot of amateur alien art. It held the boys' attention for about 13 seconds. Fortunately, the town has capitalized on the alien theme so the main street is full of little shops advertising, literally, "Alien Stuff!"

Grant was not too sure about the foam alien model. This was as close as he would get to it for the picture.

This was the highlight of the day for Matt....for obvious reasons.

We stopped at the park on the way out to expend some energy before the 3 hour ride home.

And this just made me laugh.

After Spring Break, Jaden enrolled at a martial arts academy and is now learning jiu jitsu. Apparently life is all about knowing 425 ways to take your little brother to the ground and submit him. Whatever. As long as everyone stays active... He's really into learning it though and is picking it up alarmingly fast. Pictures soon...

Grant is playing one last year of t-ball. We decided to get brave and go for Little League this year. It's crazy intense but he is SO darn cute! Turns out the boy can play AND he's pretty stinking fast. He plays pitcher, caught a pop fly the other night, and hit a Grand Slam about a week ago.

Measuring up like Daddy taught him...

Playing pitcher...

Most kids would be mortified that Mom not only snapped this next pic but then posted it on the web for all her friends and family to see. But Grant is not most kids. He will think this is hysterical.

Jesus save me.

Pi Day Ramblings

**If** I had any functional hacker/cracker skillzzz, I would judiciously employ them to crash all the foodie blogs in Blogland.   CRASH!  BOOM!  BAH!  Bring 'em to their knees.  No more stumbling on to them by accident (HOW does one search 'professional development' and end up on a Wisconsin mother-of-three's food blog?  Sometimes I think Google might be on crack).  No more getting sucked in by the delightfully Photoshopped images of cheesy bubbling enchiladas, sinful little cake pops, or the dreaded 'Bestsnickerdoodleever'.  Dang snickerdoodles.  

The first blog sucked me right in and had me whipping up a batch of THE best snickerdoodles ever!  Or so the blog claimed.  Turns out they were flat, crunchy, and less than stellar.  So of course I ate all 2 dozen in less than 24 hours threw them in the trash and went in search of the rightful heir to the Best Snickerdoodle throne.  And, SHAZAM!  I think I've got a winner!  Of course I won't really know until I've tested another few (dozen) recipes.  ahem.  Anyway.  Just look at these beauties!

And you know the pictures never really tell the whole story.  Oh my.  Can't you just FEEL how scrumdiddlyumptious they are?!  I'm quite sure this is how Heaven will taste.  I'd offer to share mine but....  Well, no I wouldn't offer.  Bake yer own. 


And speaking of snickerdoodles, look at this sweet thing...

We took a quick weekend trip back to Ruidoso to snowboard one more time before the season ended and I'm SO glad we did.  Papa Pat and Aunt Kyndra went with us and although the snow conditions were pitiful, it was nice to get a little more experience on the boards.  Jaden and I took a private lesson which was totally worth the money and I'm proud to say I came home with only one bruise this time!  Okay, that's a lie.  I actually acquired two bruises.  The first is totally expected when you fall on your posterior, but the second is more of an enigma.  Kyndra convinced me to get off the beginner slope and go down a really easy green with her.  The first part was crazy steep and scary until I figured out I could manage it and made it to the easy green part without incident.  The green slope was really flat and slow but I figured that was okay...I could just practice my switching from heel edge to toe edge.  Heel edge.  Toe edge.  Heel edge.  Toe edge KAWHACK!!!  Thank goodness I was wearing a helmet because I swear I would've knocked myself out otherwise.  The enigma part of the story is how I crashed backwards but managed to bruise my nose.  It turned blue and swelled up.  Lovely.  And so, the moral of the story is:  When you are snowboarding, commit to everything fully, because if you chicken out in the middle of a turn, you will eat it.  Hard.

Jaden did not have any nose related crashes, probably because he is a toe edge master.  Our lesson instructor worked with Jaden a lot on control and stopping and later on turning.  He is picking it up so crazy fast....it's amazing to watch.  I'm ready to buy our own gear and go back!


A few frenzied weeks after our mountain trip and Spring Break has arrived!  So naturally my children want to play....  School!!  Um, what??

Here's Jaden in archaeology class digging for dinosaur fossils in the super cool GeoSafari kit he got from Uncle Bubby and Aunt Kathy for Christmas.

And here's Grant constructing a Happy Ticket board and discipline chart (just like they use in his Kindergarten class).

Pax and Picasso are the cats.  Grant's an equal opportunity educator.

Grant used clothes pins with everybody's name written on them to chart behavior throughout the day.  Everyone mostly stays on green and blue except for the big brother.  Every time Jaden ticks Grant off, J's clip gets demoted to red.

I'm gonna go with a thumbs-up here for good coping skills.

Happy Spring and more importantly, Happy Pi Day!

Snowboarding = Ouch

I just love ridiculously useless gifts.

Who wouldn't love a straw like this??!!  Santa is so cool.

As usual, I am awed by how quickly this year has come and gone.  Did Christmas really just happen?  Such a blur.  Literally...look at this pic.  Guess our camera was sleepy too this Xmas morn...

The festivities began at 3:30 am.  No, this pic was not taken at 3:30.  We made them go back to bed (and by 'we' I mean Matt after I kicked him to let him know his precious offspring we up at 3:30).

We spent the afternoon with my parents where Santa was good to everybody again and then ate a lunch that was to die for.  I should've taken a pic of the food.  It would've made you drool.

The next day we ventured to Ruidoso for a Christmas snowboarding vacation with Matt's family.  And, as it turns out, you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.  It just takes 5x as long.  We arrived before noon, jumped in our snow bunny suits, and headed up the mountain.  My "somewhat more agile than me" 8 year old promptly eyed his snowboard appraisingly, strapped it on, and started zipping down the slope.  On his feet.  Twerp.

I, however, spent the better part of the first 2 days flat on my ***Bleeeeeeep.  Edited for content***.  The instructor made it look SO effortless but holy gee-whiz those suckers are slippery!


Here you'll notice the instructor in his green vest, little sister and niece on the lower left, and yours truly as indicated by the red arrow.  Stupid snowboard.

Grandma, Papa, and Grant hanging out while we all took a snowboarding lesson...

The top of the mountain...

Here are a few of us as we headed up the mountain on Day 2.  It looks like I've got my arms wrapped around my family in a loving embrace.  It's probably closer to the truth to say I was using the girls for support because I could hardly stand from all the falls on Day 1.

Day 2 did NOT start out with a bang.  After determining that the bunny slope was an evil ***Bleeeeeeep.  Edited for content***  I moved over to the beginner slope on the recommendation of the little sister (who consequently picked up the snowboarding thing in about 3 seconds also.  Twerp.).  I came off the lift successfully and then proceeded to fall half way down the slope at which point I ripped off the stupid board, crawled over to a nearby tree, and cried for 15 minutes.  I seriously considered hiking the rest of the way down and trading in my board for skis.  I already KNEW how to ski, why in tarnation was I torturing myself like this??!!  


In the end, I decided I probably wouldn't be setting a very good example for the youngling by giving up on only the 2nd day.  So, I strapped the sucker back on, stood up, and lo and behold I snowboarded the rest of the way down the slope!  Halleluja!  For the record, this was exactly how I learned to ski.  It turns out the bunny slope is entirely too flat....it's a wonder anyone learns anything over there.  The beginner run has just enough slope to give you some momentum, which in my case was the key.  I guess it's just like learning to ride a bike.  You're not going to learn to balance by just sitting there.  You need to be going to figure it out.

The rest of Day 2 and Day 3 were total insane fun.  I may never ski again.  And I know Jaden is hooked too.

Schweddy Balls

I dare you to try and keep a straight face.  Go on, try.

 If you have no idea what I'm talking about, do yourself a grand favor and Google it.  It's a cultural piece of television history to which everyone should be exposed before they die.

My day began this morning with a phenomenal plan to make Bakerella's Reindeer cake pops (I can't post her picture so check them out at bakerella.com) to give as gifts to the math department.  This is why...

That's me and the math department prancing through the halls during passing period pulling Santa in his sleigh and singing Jingle Bells.  Did you know that it is very difficult to prance around the entire school while singing?  I sucked it up though and made it the whole way....danged if I was going to be the wimpy reindeer that had to stop and catch her breath.  Turns out I may be a *wee* bit out of shape.

So, to answer your questions, 1) I'm wearing the bow and arrows because I was Cupid.  You'll notice Vixen in her red feather boa too.  2)  Yes, Cupid is a reindeer.  Sing the song people.   3)  Yes, we really are professional educators with post-graduate degrees.  4) No, we were not drinking.

But you can understand now why Reindeer Cake Pops would be SO perfect!  Fast forward to Michael's where I'm trying to contain two bored-out-of-their-mind little boys while trying to obtain the 234 items necessary to construct said cake pops.  Long story short, after narrowly averting a spray icing war (yep, there is such a thing as icing in spray cans) I came to the conclusion that Reindeer Cake Pops were waaaay over-rated and plain ol' cake balls would be just as fabulous.  I drug the rascal icing warriors out of the store (turns out they go quite willingly in any direction you want when you've got a tight grip on a handful of their shaggy hair) and we headed home to bake.


Mmmm....Red Velvet

Now, this is where my convoluted brain digs up the Schweddy Balls segment and I almost can't finish rolling the stupid things out due to a ridiculous fit of the giggles.

Maybe I'll get overly ambitious tomorrow and dress them up as reindeer anyway.  Then I'll package them up all sweet and cute with a note that says, "Enjoy your reindeer balls!"

Well, at least the math department would think it was funny.

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

Junior Mints smashed into the basement carpet. A birthday party invitation turned paper airplane now lost in the Bermuda Triangle that is my house. A pack of Big Red gum smeared all over the inside of the washing machine because someone forgot to take it out of their hunting pants pocket. A note written to Papa Pat. On a shirt. In marker.

The joys of motherhood, right? Bah.

So, that was the beginning of a post I started some weeks back, Thanksgivingish. Guess it was a rough day since that was as far as I got. As it turns out, I was coming down with some ridiculously obnoxious bug that knocked me flat and stole my voice (in case you were wondering, it is quite tiresome teaching Algebra using only hand gestures). But now I feel much better (thank you Dr. Dave and your wonder drugs) so I am going to attempt to play catch up before I wake up one day to find a ten YEAR gap between posts rather than a 10 week gap.

Halloween was a blur. Jaden has discovered the world of Harry Potter and is devouring the books (he's currently in the middle of The Goblet of Fire. My baby is reading a 700+ page novel....whaaaaat?). This of course means Grant also thinks HP is the coolest thing around, and so I give you, Harry and Professor Lupin...

Um, yes, I am aware that Harry is wearing a Star Wars tee. And yes, I am aware how incredibly geeky we are. And in case you can't tell from the picture, Harry has subdued Lupin by sticking his wand up his nose. It's as good as a silver bullet I'm told.

Thanksgiving was lovely, I'm sure. I don't really know since I spent most of it in bed sick. boo. But in spite of it all, the family came in to visit and eat, the boys played endless football, and I managed to consume an entire pecan pie, so I guess we can call it a success.

I love that Grant is "teaching" his great-grandparents all about the latest technology...

Now it is Christmas and my head is spinning from the craziness of the season. Or maybe it's from all the holiday sugar that has started to sneak into my house. Either way, I find myself simultaneously enchanted and exhausted. Whee!

Christmas always gives me a primo reason to have the kids' pictures taken. I love love love photo Christmas cards. I love to send them, I love to get them, I love to look at everybody else's when we're at their house. But alas, I simply did not have time to accomplish my beloved photo card this year. Sigh. I was able to bribe a few cute pics out of the boys though. It's amazing what a ginormous lollipop will get you...