Snowboarding = Ouch

I just love ridiculously useless gifts.

Who wouldn't love a straw like this??!!  Santa is so cool.

As usual, I am awed by how quickly this year has come and gone.  Did Christmas really just happen?  Such a blur.  Literally...look at this pic.  Guess our camera was sleepy too this Xmas morn...

The festivities began at 3:30 am.  No, this pic was not taken at 3:30.  We made them go back to bed (and by 'we' I mean Matt after I kicked him to let him know his precious offspring we up at 3:30).

We spent the afternoon with my parents where Santa was good to everybody again and then ate a lunch that was to die for.  I should've taken a pic of the food.  It would've made you drool.

The next day we ventured to Ruidoso for a Christmas snowboarding vacation with Matt's family.  And, as it turns out, you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.  It just takes 5x as long.  We arrived before noon, jumped in our snow bunny suits, and headed up the mountain.  My "somewhat more agile than me" 8 year old promptly eyed his snowboard appraisingly, strapped it on, and started zipping down the slope.  On his feet.  Twerp.

I, however, spent the better part of the first 2 days flat on my ***Bleeeeeeep.  Edited for content***.  The instructor made it look SO effortless but holy gee-whiz those suckers are slippery!


Here you'll notice the instructor in his green vest, little sister and niece on the lower left, and yours truly as indicated by the red arrow.  Stupid snowboard.

Grandma, Papa, and Grant hanging out while we all took a snowboarding lesson...

The top of the mountain...

Here are a few of us as we headed up the mountain on Day 2.  It looks like I've got my arms wrapped around my family in a loving embrace.  It's probably closer to the truth to say I was using the girls for support because I could hardly stand from all the falls on Day 1.

Day 2 did NOT start out with a bang.  After determining that the bunny slope was an evil ***Bleeeeeeep.  Edited for content***  I moved over to the beginner slope on the recommendation of the little sister (who consequently picked up the snowboarding thing in about 3 seconds also.  Twerp.).  I came off the lift successfully and then proceeded to fall half way down the slope at which point I ripped off the stupid board, crawled over to a nearby tree, and cried for 15 minutes.  I seriously considered hiking the rest of the way down and trading in my board for skis.  I already KNEW how to ski, why in tarnation was I torturing myself like this??!!  


In the end, I decided I probably wouldn't be setting a very good example for the youngling by giving up on only the 2nd day.  So, I strapped the sucker back on, stood up, and lo and behold I snowboarded the rest of the way down the slope!  Halleluja!  For the record, this was exactly how I learned to ski.  It turns out the bunny slope is entirely too flat....it's a wonder anyone learns anything over there.  The beginner run has just enough slope to give you some momentum, which in my case was the key.  I guess it's just like learning to ride a bike.  You're not going to learn to balance by just sitting there.  You need to be going to figure it out.

The rest of Day 2 and Day 3 were total insane fun.  I may never ski again.  And I know Jaden is hooked too.

Schweddy Balls

I dare you to try and keep a straight face.  Go on, try.

 If you have no idea what I'm talking about, do yourself a grand favor and Google it.  It's a cultural piece of television history to which everyone should be exposed before they die.

My day began this morning with a phenomenal plan to make Bakerella's Reindeer cake pops (I can't post her picture so check them out at bakerella.com) to give as gifts to the math department.  This is why...

That's me and the math department prancing through the halls during passing period pulling Santa in his sleigh and singing Jingle Bells.  Did you know that it is very difficult to prance around the entire school while singing?  I sucked it up though and made it the whole way....danged if I was going to be the wimpy reindeer that had to stop and catch her breath.  Turns out I may be a *wee* bit out of shape.

So, to answer your questions, 1) I'm wearing the bow and arrows because I was Cupid.  You'll notice Vixen in her red feather boa too.  2)  Yes, Cupid is a reindeer.  Sing the song people.   3)  Yes, we really are professional educators with post-graduate degrees.  4) No, we were not drinking.

But you can understand now why Reindeer Cake Pops would be SO perfect!  Fast forward to Michael's where I'm trying to contain two bored-out-of-their-mind little boys while trying to obtain the 234 items necessary to construct said cake pops.  Long story short, after narrowly averting a spray icing war (yep, there is such a thing as icing in spray cans) I came to the conclusion that Reindeer Cake Pops were waaaay over-rated and plain ol' cake balls would be just as fabulous.  I drug the rascal icing warriors out of the store (turns out they go quite willingly in any direction you want when you've got a tight grip on a handful of their shaggy hair) and we headed home to bake.


Mmmm....Red Velvet

Now, this is where my convoluted brain digs up the Schweddy Balls segment and I almost can't finish rolling the stupid things out due to a ridiculous fit of the giggles.

Maybe I'll get overly ambitious tomorrow and dress them up as reindeer anyway.  Then I'll package them up all sweet and cute with a note that says, "Enjoy your reindeer balls!"

Well, at least the math department would think it was funny.

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

Junior Mints smashed into the basement carpet. A birthday party invitation turned paper airplane now lost in the Bermuda Triangle that is my house. A pack of Big Red gum smeared all over the inside of the washing machine because someone forgot to take it out of their hunting pants pocket. A note written to Papa Pat. On a shirt. In marker.

The joys of motherhood, right? Bah.

So, that was the beginning of a post I started some weeks back, Thanksgivingish. Guess it was a rough day since that was as far as I got. As it turns out, I was coming down with some ridiculously obnoxious bug that knocked me flat and stole my voice (in case you were wondering, it is quite tiresome teaching Algebra using only hand gestures). But now I feel much better (thank you Dr. Dave and your wonder drugs) so I am going to attempt to play catch up before I wake up one day to find a ten YEAR gap between posts rather than a 10 week gap.

Halloween was a blur. Jaden has discovered the world of Harry Potter and is devouring the books (he's currently in the middle of The Goblet of Fire. My baby is reading a 700+ page novel....whaaaaat?). This of course means Grant also thinks HP is the coolest thing around, and so I give you, Harry and Professor Lupin...

Um, yes, I am aware that Harry is wearing a Star Wars tee. And yes, I am aware how incredibly geeky we are. And in case you can't tell from the picture, Harry has subdued Lupin by sticking his wand up his nose. It's as good as a silver bullet I'm told.

Thanksgiving was lovely, I'm sure. I don't really know since I spent most of it in bed sick. boo. But in spite of it all, the family came in to visit and eat, the boys played endless football, and I managed to consume an entire pecan pie, so I guess we can call it a success.

I love that Grant is "teaching" his great-grandparents all about the latest technology...

Now it is Christmas and my head is spinning from the craziness of the season. Or maybe it's from all the holiday sugar that has started to sneak into my house. Either way, I find myself simultaneously enchanted and exhausted. Whee!

Christmas always gives me a primo reason to have the kids' pictures taken. I love love love photo Christmas cards. I love to send them, I love to get them, I love to look at everybody else's when we're at their house. But alas, I simply did not have time to accomplish my beloved photo card this year. Sigh. I was able to bribe a few cute pics out of the boys though. It's amazing what a ginormous lollipop will get you...

Gonerrhea

As a child I believed in all things spritely and mythical including Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. But as an adult I've come to realize the sinister truth....that somewhere in this realm of being there exists an invisible creature that silently steals away your hip and unfathomably cool youth leaving plain ol' grown-up thoughts and ideas in its place. Sneaky little SOB. And what's worse is that this creature isn't even courteous enough to leave a shiny quarter under your pillow so you know it's been there. No, it leaves you be-bopping along, blasting Metallica in your iPod, thinking you're hip-ness couldn't get any hipper. Then one day it slaps you upside the head when you realize your hip-ness actually got hippier (as in your favorite jeans will no longer zip up). And on this same day you also realize that your Metallica playlist contains "classic" tunes because "Gonerrhea" by Lil' Wayne is ranking on the top 10 downloads list on iTunes and your music no longer even makes the top 200. This. Is. It. This is the moment you realize that you are 100%-without-a-doubt the grown-up and clueless 35 year-old you dreaded becoming when you were 15. And you're okay with that realization because what human being possessing a fully developed brain would think Gonerrhea was a good song title?? (The guy didn't even spell it right for crying-out-loud)

So. In answer to your question, yes. Of course I clicked on it. Stop judging me. You know you're curious too. And it actually is as raunchy as it sounds. Worse probably. I was fumbling for the pause button about 8 seconds into the preview just in case a munchkin had snuck out of bed and was quietly listening around the corner. Seriously!!! When did it become okay, no, not okay, but COOL to say these words and sing about such explicit things in music??! Is this what my parents thought about Metallica? Is this what their parents thought about the Beatles? It's times like these when I just want to pack my family up, move to Tahiti, and spend our days worshiping jellyfish and learning to surf.

Life in America is tricky. It's clearly the best place on the planet to live, yet it comes with a price. Freedom and prosperity are amazing gifts, but oh how easily they could fold over on themselves and bring everything crashing down.

Life is good when...

...you train your boys to take out the trash and empty the dishwasher so you don't have to...

...90% of your students actually remember enough stuff to PASS the stupid geometry test...

...your big kid gets invited to try out for the UIL spelling team at school because he's been recognized as one of the best spellers in 3rd grade (please-Jesus-let-him-make-the-team)...

...your little kid, who is a whirling dervish of naughtiness at home, manages to go 5 weeks in kindergarten without getting in trouble...

...after 8 weeks of employment you FINALLY get paid...

...you wake up one morning only to discover your pants are too big (yee haw!)...

...you can buy an iPod from a vending machine in the middle of the men's department of Macy's...

...no really, you actually can...

...and when fall finally arrives and you can spend the day with your family at the football game...

Just Breathe

So. Freaking. Tired. But I'm not complaining. Not that much anyway. This was easily the busiest 5 months evvvvver. And that includes that one time I took 3 graduate-level classes in a single summer semester....one of which required reading 4 novels each WEEK. Yeesh. But I can honestly say that I haven't felt quite this alive in a long time. I hadn't realized what a deep rut I'd fallen into until the massive changes of the last few months yanked me right out of it. You know how when you're scooping out the cat box you hold your breath because you don't want to breathe in cat litter dust and it's taking a bit longer than you'd like because cats poop a lot apparently, and you finally run out of the room and suck in a chestful of fresh air before you pass out? Um, maybe that's just me. But THAT'S what I feel like! The fresh air part that is....and it is so nice to breathe.

The busiest part of the busy-ness has been the house. As it turns out, selling and buying a new house (mostly by yourself because your sweet husband is working insane 18 hour days and w/ 2 little boys underfoot) is no easy task. That's the sugar coated version of course. But suffice it to say, I intend to live here for at least 65 more years because I am never doing THAT again. Whew. And for the record, I can whine all I want about such things. It's my blog darnit. Kyndra, my bestest bud ever, who has sold, packed, bought, and unpacked houses all over the world following an army captain husband would roll her eyes in a major way if she read this post. But she won't read this. Because she's doing all of the aforementioned things in a move from VA to AL. By herself. With 2 little boys underfoot.

Anyway, settling into our new house has been the BEST part of the craziness! It's kinda slow going, but who cares?! I've got another 65 years to get settled! My first settling project was this:

If you're wondering, that's the tile. Um, ick? And there's a fair amount of tile in the house. But aside from filthy grout, we are LOVING this place....the space, the location, even the beautiful dark wood floors that show every blooming white cat hair. There may have been a *slight* lack of forethought when adopting those little boogers. Oh well.

But, when we weren't moving, working in town, working out of town, getting a new job, or sweeping up cat fur, we were out and about doing regular ol' summery kinds of things. Grant's a pretty good little ball player...

Nate, Grant, and the cutest trophies ever...

Jaden turned 8 with a beach party at Seahorse.

Invitations...

Lemonade cupcakes...

Grant took his first ride on an airplane...

My nephew came to visit...

Jaden practiced doing his "butterknife" off the diving board...

We couldn't talk Dad into getting wet...

Grant learned to do a front-flip...

The boys met Tommy Tuberville...

iPhones!!! ...

Oh! And I LOVE my new job! But more on that later because it's way past my bedtime...zzzzzzz